is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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