I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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