Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
