As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
