It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
