I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Randomize