come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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