I murdered the dance floor call the cops
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
