I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
