I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My ass is underappreciated
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
