Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are you so shy because you have an std?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
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I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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