Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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