FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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