We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
