its not stalking. its research.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
