Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Mom said you looked used
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
