Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
