am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize