i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
