did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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