Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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