so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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