she woke up with a sticky ear
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
