this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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