well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
