You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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