I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
