I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize