I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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