Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay

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(773): View more from Illinois

he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.

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(212): View more from New York

You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

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(303): View more from Colorado

He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"

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(641): View more from Iowa

Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

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(703): View more from Virginia

You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.

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