You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
