I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
