She said her name was "party"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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