Kiss
Puke
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
