What a fucking waste of an outfit
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
