Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
