Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
