The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Randomize