I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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