Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize