I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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