No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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