I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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