I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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