don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
