He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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