billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
