I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
