A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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