five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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