just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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