I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
