the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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