Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
