i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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