We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
