thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
