don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
