Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's on the porch naked. Help.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
